The Ring

GIGI AT 90

It has been a year since she passed. The thought of her with her hand on the back of my neck has unleashed the water works this week. Tears drip off my chin without my permission. I know it is because of The Ring and what it recalls for me. All that I miss most about her.

herhands gigiFor various reasons The Ring was lost for a short time after Grammie passed.  It was unaccounted for in the months following her burial. We all were. Thankfully, it found its way back into our heart and hands. My mother wears it now, everyday. Rightfully so, it was from the loving hand of her mother. She is traveling this week and felt for its safety. It would be best left behind. As she parted with the heirloom, I swore I would look after it until she returned. Parting with The Ring was difficult. This heirloom has become my mothers totem. It is a powerful one.

gigi ringWhile making dinner last night, cleaning up, untangling hair, attending to the beagles, and finally nestling down under the covers; its weight unleashed so many memories. Precious memories. Here come the tears.

I realized what I missed most was her affection. Kisses, full embraces, smiles, winks, full blown laughter and even tears of happiness were offered up freely. Laying my head on her lap always transported me to a small slice of emotional heaven. Her attention soothed my anxious childhood and disquieted youth. They are tender soft unfading memories. This, I thank The Ring for reminding me.

Highres_WWW018041706761709But, The Ring brought more memories. Memories of how her passing brought me to my knees. There was no other woman in my life that physically embraced me to the lengths Grammie did. Rubbing my back, making sure my tummy was full, kissing me good night no matter my age and demanding to snuggle under the auspices I’d catch a draft were her absolute priority. Physical closeness, how human beings must have it, she was the master. She knew and loved that my DNA required it. And now she was gone.

Don’t get me wrong, my DH is a tremendous snuggler who has kept my heart warm for over 20 years. However, there is something about my Grammie’s loving female attention and me being a touchy-feely type.

When I shared this emptiness with DH, over wine and more tears, his words were “those loving actions may be gone for you now, but that does not mean you cannot ensure those type of soft memories are there for our little ones”.

BINGO.

Which brings us to why I’m sharing this post about The Ring.

Friends, physically love your kids, no matter what age. Smother them.  Even if they throw you off. They still want it. Trust me I have a tween. Hold them close even when they are as old as you are now.

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If Grammie was here she would tell you why, it’s all about being short on criticism and long on love.

It will be hard to give The Ring back,

kathleensignblack_thumb3

Comments

  1. Tears…. Kisses and hugs to the kiddos. Miss you guys, see you soon

  2. I still snuggle with my grandma and grandpa whenever I see them. I’m known for lying down and taking naps with my grandpa whenever I visit him in Manila. My grandma and I spend hours chatting while lying on her bed whenever I visit her in Texas too. :) It’s good to be a touchy-feely type; it is because of my grandparents and parents that I’m always drawn to warm people, like you and your DH. <3 to you!

  3. I feel every ounce of your emotion in this post. I miss my Grandma as well, and surely there never was and never will be anyone that can hold that specific type of comfort she was able to give. Big internet hugs from me to you today XO
    Betsy recent posted..Mexican Skillet Casserole

  4. Beautiful! I want to give you a hug…Love you :) XO

  5. Barbara Kirschner says:

    Kathleen–What a loving post you have made to your sweet Grandma. I was not lucky enough to know any of my grandparents and that is a big hole in my life. Then, my Mom was not the touchy-feely type, but luckily, my Dad was. I miss him almost every day and he’s been gone for almost 30 years. He always put a Valentine’s Day card on my breakfast plate just from him. Brings tears to my eyes even now. I hope that your Mom has the pleasure of being with your children and imparting love to them anytime she wants to. I want to spend as much time with my grandchildren as I can too so that there are no holes in their lives. They are my heart and my reason for being. Thank you for the reminder, Kathleen! Love, Barbara

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